Most Dutch parents see talking about relationships and sexuality as part of parenting

Parents share information about relationships and sexuality for several reasons: 60% believe it is an essential part of parenting, 47.6% want their child to make wise choices, and 43.4% want to have open conversations about these topics. Among the small group of parents who do not provide or plan to provide such guidance, the most common reason is that they feel it is unnecessary (41.9%).

Parents use a variety of approaches to inform their children. Most (88.5%) respond to their child’s questions, while a significant number (66.1%) also take the initiative to start the conversation themselves. Elsbeth explains: “Providing children with reliable information at home and at school helps them develop a positive self-image and learn to navigate their bodies, emotions, and relationships in a healthy way. It is therefore crucial that all parents take on this responsibility.”

Boundaries and wishes are discussed at every age

The topics parents discuss with their children vary depending on the child’s age, but the results show that most parents address these subjects regularly. Parents of children aged 4–7 often talk about physical differences between boys and girls (99.6%). For children aged 8–11, discussions focus mainly on bodily changes during puberty (91.5%) and homosexuality (89.9%). Among children aged 12–16, conversations often center on falling in love and relationships (97.0%) and the sending of nude photos or videos (92.8%). Parents discuss wishes and boundaries with their children across all age groups.

Elsbeth comments: “We all want children to grow up carefree and safe. It is therefore encouraging to see that wishes and boundaries are regularly discussed at every age. From an early age, parents teach their children that their body belongs to them and that no one may touch it without permission.”

Broad support for relationship and sexuality education in schools

A large majority of parents surveyed (91.6%) believe that relationship and sexuality education should be mandatory in schools. Among them, most (72.6%) think it should be required both in primary and secondary education, while a smaller group (16.8%) feels it should only be mandatory in secondary school, and another small group (2%) thinks it should only be required in primary school. A very few parents (1.2%) have ever kept their child home from these lessons.

Parents generally view relationship and sexuality education in primary school positively and believe a wide range of topics should be covered. However, opinions are more divided on certain subjects, such as teaching that boys can behave in ways traditionally associated with girls, and vice versa.

Elsbeth explains: “Discussing this topic is important to prevent harmful stereotypical ideas about boys and girls. Challenging these stereotypes promotes greater acceptance and contributes to a safer school culture for all children, particularly girls and children who do not fit traditional norms.”